Six years ago my brother rang me from his home in Sao Paulo, Brazil to say Goodbye. He had had a lung removed with cancer but because he had been a heavy smoker all his life his remaining lung was not good enough and he was failing. Patrick was a person with a keen mind and wit, an incredible musician and who all through our lives had left me feeling inferior and the least important in our family - even though I was now in my late 60's and retired I still felt that way.
I got off the phone and Lynne and I talked and she said ''You should go to Brazil.'' I was stunned and of course said the usual ''But we can't afford it dear!'' My lovely wife pointed out we could get a bank loan for the $4000 needed so off I trotted. On the way to the bank I met our insurance rep. and was telling him our plans to which he pointed out that Lynne's life insurance was going to mature in a year and why didn't we just borrow against that - the small amount of interest it would accrue before maturity was minor.
So we did just that and 3 days later I flew to Brazil. Arriving there I found Patrick in intensive care and on oxygen gasping for air and although he wasn't intensely religious he asked if I would annoint him and give him a final blessing which with many tears I did. That was at 1.00 am in the morning. We (Tina my sister in law) left believing that we had just said our last Goodbyes. The next morning we rang to see how things were and to our astonishment were told he was back in his room much improved!!
When we got back to the hospital (all private hospitals there) he was sitting up in bed still with his oxygen mask and 3 drips in his arms but very cheeky and he asked if I would stay with him so a bed was put up right next to him and apart from going out for meals the next four days were spent talking about our boyhood in England, laughing about exploits and generally sharing our lives, most of which had been spent thousands of miles apart. Much of the night time was sleepless for me as his oxygen mask would fall off if he fell asleep and the alarm would go off and I'd have to readjust his mask. In all his pain and discomfort all I ever got was a smile and a silent Thanks. Four days after arriving he died very peacefully and content.
In those 4 days we came to know each other in a way I would never have dreamed possible. My feelings of inferiority and inadequency were blown out of the window by everything he shared with me. We were two very different personalities but we found that neither of us was any better or worse than the other. Those four days were perhaps the most rewarding and settling in my whole life and I would never have known how much we loved each other if Lynne had not said ''You should go to Brazil''. No we couldn't really afford it looking at things coldly and factually and without her pushing I would never have had the joy of those four incredible days.
Before Patrick died he gave me his two guitars - a 1969 Gibson S.J. Country he had bought in Nashville, and a Brazilian Del Vecchio classical Tina had given him in 1975 for a wedding present. My nephew has the Gibson and I still play the Del Vecchio and think of Patrick every time I pick it up.
While it may not always be prudent to do the foolish thing it is often the most rewarding.
Don't often go around quoting the Bible to people but 1 Corinthians 3: 18/19 say a lot -- ''If anyone thinks he is wise by the standards of this age he should become a fool so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight.''
