Hi Robyn.

I'm sure the women in the story could have explored shared parenting, although often the socialisation into parental roles of traditional Mum and Dad activities are very strong. Even the attitude that as women, we can take "time out" to care for children and reconsider our career is interesting. It means that fathers are then under even more pressure to keep earning and progressing up the career ladder, and probably therefore spend less time with their family. It reinforces a model that actually doesn't work for anyone (why do men die younger than women, why are women so much poorer than men, etc?)

Of course, this could be debated for hours. It's very interesting though. How we live, role models for our children, roles and ways to live. And so it goes on.

You asked about the kind of positions my husband and I have. I am a Senior HR Advisor with Inland Revenue. My husband is a counsellor in private practice.

But I must go to a meeting!! All the best.

Regards Jenni

Robyn,

I read with interest your article "Do we give ourselves enough parenting time?" [http://www.gettingagripontime.com/ttt/ttt-55.html] You make some valid points and I agree with most. However I'm really concerned about the continuing focus on mothers being the ones to give up work. Most children have two parents.

My husband and I work a shared arrangement for parenting our children. We each work the equivalent of three full days during the working week. We are very fortunate that the one day of overlap, our children spend with their Nana and Poppa (and incidentally, this gives them some unique experiences we don't offer, like vegetable gardening). The other two days one of us is with the children. We also each take some weekend time to work. This means our children are spending time with both parents and both of us are able to continue to pursue our career interests. The parent at home that day cooks a decent meal - limited fast food! Between us we earn just over a single income.

We have a number of friends who have found creative solutions to parenting too. One couple, who both teach, alternate years teaching at a country school. Another couple have one parent working mornings, the other afternoons into the evenings. None of these arrangements are as simple as one parent working, one at home. They require huge organisational and communication skills. It's worth it though, to have well balanced children and adults in the home.

My advice to couples planning a family is always to have a discussion about how much time each of you will put into parenting. And as all parents of pre-schoolers know, expect not to spend much time with each other!! That's a whole other story.

Finally, thanks Robyn for your fantastic Time Tips.

Kind regards

Jenni