When I was still full time vicar of a parish I got up for church one Sunday morning and developed chest pains which didn't go away. Short story off to hospital suspected heart problems. After many tests - no heart problem. It was stress.
A friend asked how a priest got stress when all they did was take Sunday services and have cups of tea with old ladies!!
They didn't know about 24/7 with counselling, births, marriages, deaths, church groups and the conflicts that are always present in any group of people.
I spent time with a wise old friend who asked to look at my diary and for me to keep a time check on myself by writing out every day exactly what I did and to split it up into 1/4 hour segments. After a month both he and I were horrified at the hours I was doing (80+) and the amount of time I was called to emergencies which completely destroyed any schedules I had planned.
All that was at a cost to my family life and my personal life but my friend had some answers for me.
1. I had to learn to say No and accept that I could not be all things to all people all the time no matter how willing or dedicated I may be.
2. I was to write time in my diary every day for a quite time of planning - usually early morning.
3. I was to diary time for my wife
4. I was to diary time for my kids.
That changed my whole way of working and I believe saved my life. My main support was my wife, my joy my kids and depriving myself of that contact was taking away a source of energy.
So a quiet time developed every morning, I said No and spent time with Lynne and the kids on a regular basis and I'm still here. End of story.
